Search This Blog

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Firm, Fair, Fun Parenting

Earlier this week I wrote a post about pointing our children in the right direction while they're in our home.  It's a daily responsibility and sometimes it can get overwhelming.  Other days it's discouraging because they don't seem like they're "getting it."  We then fall into a disheartened mode which also influences the rest of our family.  Can I encourage you on your parenting road today?


I heard a preacher recently say that in parenting you need to:

  • Be Firm
  • Be Fair
  • Be Fun
All three are needed.  

Be firm - Say what you mean and then follow through.  Don't promise a spanking for disobedience and then not carry it out when you get home.  That kind of neglect takes a  huge amount of effort to undo.  If you've set a curfew for your teen, expect them to honor it.

Be fair - Too often we hit the first one strong and hard.  We're firm.  "No!" "No!" "No!" at every request, every attempt the child makes, at every word they say.  But stop and ask if you're also being fair.  

What does "being fair" entail?  Being fair requires really listening. Proverbs 18:13 says, 
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it,
 it is folly and shame unto him.

 Did you hear your child out completely before you answered them?  Do you understand where they're coming from?  Or did you cut them off? If the teen was late for curfew, let them speak before you discipline.  Hear them out.  There may be a viable reason for their tardiness.   If we're wise, we will obey the Scripture above and hear them out.  Let them know you care about what they have to say and that they are worth listening to.

Be fun - Lastly, we need to take time out for fun.  If things are stressful in homeschool, drop the books and do something just for fun!  If there's been tons of stress in relationships, add a dose of something everyone will enjoy.
  • Go on a picnic for lunch.  
  • Build a fort in the backyard.  
  • Eat ice cream sundaes for supper.  
  • Go shopping for sunglasses with your teen daughter and have lunch at her favorite place.  
  • Learn to laugh - long and hard with your children  
  • Isn't it easy to scowl?  Let your kids see you smiling- and at them!
Firm, fair, fun.  If those words don't describe your parenting, ask the Lord to help you incorporate the needed areas into your home today!

Which of these three areas is hardest for you?


With love,

No comments: