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Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Missing Ingredient

This past Tuesday night ended a four week long marriage session that we held here in our home.  It was entitled, "Marriage Matters," because marriage matters!  I loved that there were newlyweds up to folks married 38 years that came each week.  It says so much that they would take a whole month and spend every Tuesday night working on their marriage.

  • It tells their spouse that they care enough about their marriage to put all else aside so they can make their marriage even better.
  • It tells their children that they want to make the most of their relationship and in so doing, provide a stronger home for them.
  • It tells their God that they are desiring to honor the vows they made to Him on their wedding day, and are doing whatever it takes to make their marriage work.

On the last night we gathered, we talked about the things that come into a marriage that cause distance - things like:  busy schedules, children, in-laws, pets, work, phone calls, unconfessed sin, and hobbies.  At one point one of the wives mentioned that flirting goes by the wayside.  Flirting...that thing you did when you were dating.  It's the little teasing, the playfulness that was a part of your time together.  It seems that after the wedding, it's easy to get used to being married and we don't flirt anymore!

Did you know there is mention of flirting in the Bible?  In Genesis 26:8 we read:  And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife. Sporting is flirting.  Isaac was flirting with his wife Rebekah! They got caught by the king!  When was the last time your kids "caught you" flirting with their daddy?  That should happen frequently.  In case you've forgotten how, what can you do to flirt with your spouse?

  1. Sit in his lap.
  2. Put your arms around him and embrace him sweetly when he walks in the door.
  3. Give him a lingering kiss.
  4. Put your head on his shoulder when you're watching a movie together.
  5. Leave him a love note in a secret place where only he will find it- in his wallet or dresser drawer.
  6. Create a secret signal so you can flirt in a crowded room. =)
  7. Fix his favorite dessert and serve it by candlelight in your bedroom.
  8. Leave a note under the windshield wiper of his car.
  9. Make plans to play a game together - laugh!  Enjoy his company!  Who cares who wins?!
  10. Surprise him with lunch just for the two of you.  Pick him up at work and go to a park for a picnic lunch you've packed.
Marriage takes work if you want one that is above average.  You might have missed the Marriage Matters class, but you can still let your spouse know that your marriage matters.  
How?  You know!  

Pastor's Encouragement:  Pray that your pastor will practice servant leadership, edifying the congregation with wisdom and serving with God's agape love.
Husband's Encouragement:  God has wired us with different personalities. And often He will draw together two people with opposite strengths and weaknesses, on purpose, in order to refine us and help us. Sometimes the very strengths we love at first become points of contention later.

Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise—even when his bent for order and discipline comes against your bent for whimsy. Affirm him for these traits and how this helps your marriage function. .

Some men are naturally more spontaneous. They may be fun loving or people-focused. These are all related to a creative spirit that is also worthy of your praise—even when his bent for spontaneity comes against your bent for planning.

With love,

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